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YO MAMA JOKES!
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These are a bunch of yo Mama jokes!

Yo momma's so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth.
Yo momma's so hairy, she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
Yo momma's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.
Yo momma's so fat, when people try to drive around her, they ran out of gas.
Yo momma's so fat, someone ran around her twice, and got lost.
Yo momma's so fat, she puts on lipstick with a paint roller.
Yo momma's so fat, that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat butt out of the way.
Yo momma's so fat, when she bends over, we go into daylight savings time.
Yo momma's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
Yo momma's so fat, she bumps into people when she's sitting down.
Yo momma's so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up.
Yo momma's so ugly, someone took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
Yo momma's like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
If my dog had a face as ugly as yo momma, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards.
Yo momma's so fat she has to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo momma's so fat she bungie jumped and went straight to hell.
Yo momma's teeth so yellow she spits butter.
Yo momma's so old that when I told to her to act her age, she died.
Yo momma's so fat, when she walked in front of the TV and I missed 60 minutes.
Yo momma's so old, when she was in school they didn't teach history!
Yo momma's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.
Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo momma's so fat when she died they have to widen the gates of heaven!
Yo momma's so fat, she's the same height standing up or lying down.
Yo momma's so fat, when she was at school she got to sit with EVERYBODY.
Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo momma's so ugly, she scares blind children.
Yo momma's so fat, when she bends over we lose an hour of day light.
Yo momma's so old she farts out dust!
Yo momma's so old her birth certifcate is expired!
Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.
Yo momma so poor when I walked into her house and lit a cigarette, she yelled "Stomp your feet, clap your hands, praise the lord we have heat!"
Yo mamma is so fat she had to be baptized at seaworld!
Yo mama is so slow it takes her an hour and a half to watch 60min.
Yo mamas lips are so big it looks like my butt sideways
Yo mamas teeth are so yellow when she smiles cars slow down.

Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate".

Yo mama's so stupid, I put a Scratch-N'-Sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she drowned.

Yo mama's so stupid, I asked her do tricks for me and she wagged her tail.

Yo mama's so stupid, she has 1 toe & bought a pair of flip flops

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.

Yo mama's so stupid, she asked me what yield meant. I said "Slow down" and she said "What... does.... yield... mean?"

Yo mama's so stupid, she broke her neck at a flashing red light.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put on her glasses to watch 20/20.

Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was behind it.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Grape Nuts was an STD.

Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed a chain link fence to see what was on the other side.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a knife to a drive-by shooting.

Yo mama's so stupid, she failed a survey.

Yo mama's so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her I was reading a book by Homer and she asked if I had anything written by Bart.

Yo mama's so stupid, she gave birth to you.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building, but she got lost on the way down.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window.

Yo mama's so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.

Yo mama's so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk."

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought brownie points were coupons for a bake sale.

Yo mama's so stupid, when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said "Cherry or grape?"

Yo mama's so stupid, she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a branch manager.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her to squeal like a pig, she said "Moo!"

Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her jumping up and down, asked what she was doing, and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it.

Yo mama's so stupid, her latest invention was a glass hammer.

Yo mama's so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she started ducking through traffic.

Yo mama's so stupid, she died from boiling water in the toaster.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she locked her keys in the car, it took her all day to get yo family out. 

Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down. 

Yo mama's so stupid, when she threw a grenade at me I pulled the pin and threw it back.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took you to the drive-in to see "Closed for the season."

Yo mama's so stupid, when she pulled into the drive-thru at McDonald's, she drove through the window.

Yo mama's so stupid, she was on the corner with a sign that said "Will eat for food."

Yo mama's so stupid, she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got shoved in an oven and froze to death.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.

Yo mama's so stupid, she brought a cup to the movie "Juice."

Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in a meat locker and sweat to death.

Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad fucked her she said "Doesn't it go in my mouth?"

Yo mama's so stupid, she leaves the house for the Home Shopping Network.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to put M&M's in order.

Yo mama's so stupid, she peals M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies.

Yo mama's so stupid, she uses Old Spice for cooking.

Yo mama's so stupid, she threw a rock the ground and missed.

Yo mama's so stupid, her breasts are square cuz she forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.

Yo mama's so stupid, she sat on the TV & watched the couch.

Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought St. Ides was a Catholic church.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought St. Ides was an island in the Caribbean.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.

Yo mama's so stupid, the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth.

Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the Gap to get her teeth fixed.

Yo mama's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail. 

Yo mama's so stupid, she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!"

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to throw a bird off a cliff.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown a fish.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought menopause was a button on the VCR.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she worked at McDonald's and someone ordered small fries, she said "Hey Boss, all the small one's are gone."

Yo mama's so stupid, her shirt says TGIF- tits go in first.

Yo mama's so stupid, her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front.

Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.

 Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were gas she wouldn't have enough to power a flea-mobile around the inside of a Froot Loop.

Yo mama's so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and got toilet paper.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her if she wanted to play one on one, she said "Ok, but what's the teams?"

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to melt squeeze Parkay. Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left, " she turned around and went home.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama's so stupid, I said give me a quarterback and she gave me Dan Marino.

Yo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

Yo mama's so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change.

Yo mama's so stupid, she ran outside with a purse because she heard there was change in the weather.

Yo mama's so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade.

Yo mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses. 

Yo mama's so stupid, she wouldn't know up from down if she had three guesses. 

Yo mama's so stupid, when her husband lost his marbles she bought him new ones. 

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the internet was something you catch fish with.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she could get food stamps at the post office.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown herself in a carpool.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court. 

Yo mama's so stupid, when the judge said "Order in the court, " she said "I'll have a hamburger and a Coke."

Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Burger King and thought she was a queen.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo mama's so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

Yo mama's so stupid, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.

Yo mama's so stupid, she had Dan Quayle check her spelling.

Yo mama's so stupid, when asked what a pronoun was, she said a noun that gets paid.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying! 

Yo mama's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.

Yo mama's so stupid, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F, and sometimes Wednesday too."

Yo mama's so stupid, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line, she put "O.K."

Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people. 

Yo mama's so stupid, you can tell when she's used the computer because there's White Out all over the screen.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got a part time job painting skittles.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks stereotype is the brand on her clock-radio.

Yo mama's so stupid, she can't make Jello because she can't fit 2 quarts of water in the bix.

Yo mama's so stupid, you can make her eyes twinkle by shining light in her ears.

Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she went by the YMCA she said "Hey, they spelled MACY's wrong."

Yo mama's so stupid, on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.

Yo mama's so stupid, she asked for a price check at the dollar store.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she pulls up to a flashing red light it sounds like this... Vroom, Screech, Vroom, Screech. 

Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.

Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

Yo mama's so stupid when she asked me what kinda jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levis?" 

Yo mama's so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo mama's so stupid, she said "what's that letter after x" and I said Y she said "Cause I wanna know".

Yo mama's so stupid, she took lessons for a player piano.

Yo mama's so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus.

Yo mama's so stupid, the bitch snuck on the bus and paid to get off.

Yo mama's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.

Yo mama's so stupid, she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1"

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to insult you and started with "Yo mama's..."

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on soul train. 

Yo mama's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her about X-Men she said "Sure, there's Harry my first baby daddy, Willy the guy I see on Thursdays..."

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.

Yo mama's so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Wu-Tang is an orange flavored drink.

Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.

Yo mama's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco. 

Yo mama's so stupid, her idea of safe sex is locking the car doors.

Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought asphalt was a skin disease.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon. 

Yo mama's so stupid, she married Yo daddy.

Yo mama's so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.

Yo mama's so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.

Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.

Yo mama's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put a peephole in a glass door.

Yo mama's so stupid, when someone said "Take the trash out, " she moved.

Yo mama's so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater.

Yo mama's so stupid, she wiped her ass before she took a shit. 

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.

Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.

Yo mama's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911".

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample.

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.

Yo mama's so stupid, she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got shot running the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.

Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."

Yo mama's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got on her knees to drink her "Nehi" peach drink.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo mama's so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.

Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.

Yo mama's so stupid, she fell up the stairs.

Yo mama's so stupid, she went on Double Dare and when they asked her name she said "I think I'll take the physical challenge."

E-mail  me more mama jokes  m00cow007@netscap.net